Twentysomethings

The title of a book I never wrote. A daft and pointless attempt at psychobabble for the masses. It would have been the most annoying piece of drivel ever written. Who wants to hear about the lives of a group of friends in their twenties. Although, I think I've changed my perspective. I think I will write the book. I think I'll write it from different places, different people, and different points of view. Maybe I'll even put you in there somewhere. I gained a bit of contempt for my flip-flops tonight. Not because you don't like them, but because you stuck up for me. That makes me really understand how much you like me. And the moment, don't let me lie to you and tell you it's not been a thought that has been on my mind as well. Texas huh? A bit unbecoming, but a fitting nickname. I do call you Scituate. Maybe that's my fault. Needle in the hay runs over and over, and I realize how abstract this post is getting. A lot of things were said tonight, and I can still hear your voice ringing in my ears. It's wonderful. Thanks for the wake up call. For some reason I have trouble getting my thoughts together. I feel discombobulated. Maybe I shouldn't smoke before I go into work. Although it does make the day pass a lot faster. Of course, if I could be home all day I'd love it too. That means more time to do the things I want to do. I need a cold beer, because I haven't had one. I need to sleep. I need to remember that I have a demanding job. I hate being controlled by the things that fuel our society. Money, power, fame. Oh well. This is becoming a rant, and a rave. I don't know where it's going. Kamakazi aeroplane time. Let's get lost in each other, on a couch somewhere. Goodnight love. I'll talk to you today.

:D

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I may be ugly, but I got personality!!

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results Sociability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Gregariousness ||||||||||||||| 42% Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Activity Level ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Enthusiasm |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||| 75% Trust ||||||||| 30% Morality ||||||||||||||| 42% Altruism |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Cooperation ||||||||||||||| 42% Modesty |||||| 18% Sympathy ||||||||||||||| 46% Friendliness ||||||||||||||| 42% Self-Efficacy ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Neatness ||||||||||||||| 46% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 46% Achievement ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Self-Discipline |||||||||||||||||| 54% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 38% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 51% Anxiety ||||||||||||||| 46% Anger |||||| 18% Depression |||||||||||| 34% Self-Consciousness |||||||||||| 38% Impulsiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Vulnerability ||||||||| 22% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 64% Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Emotionality |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Liberalism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 84%

thoughts

Listening to Blue October, I hear the solace in your voice. It seems to reflect a dull echo of the times when you have felt less than happy. A solemn reminder that sometimes even at our most liberated, we feel trapped. Sometimes inside of our own skins. I don't envy your moment of insecurity, and I hope that it was just such, a moment. A time at which you needed to write, and express, and let that which drives you insane get a small taste of vengence. I know you better with every passing day, and you have become an obsession. One of which makes me want to change my life around to be near you. One of which that truly makes me see the depth inside of myself, and those around me. I thought about you all day, and amidst the sound of power tools, and the constant laughter of my peers, I smiled insanely. Knowing, that coming home would warrant another chance to speak to you, in that language that only we understand. The little things matter, as you say, and I don't want them to ever stop. You have a piece of my heart that I think has always been reserved for you. I guess it was just waiting to be picked up. "I could sit here for hours, waiting on your arrival. I could sit here for days just hoping you'd come out and play."Come out and play, because I need you.

I'm together when I'm with you...

I feel happier than I've felt in days. I feel stronger than I have, and my affirmed fears of you losing interest have been condemned to my own insecurities. I love the way we dance. I love the effortless conversation that makes me want to fall in love with you. I love to hear you breathing, and that giddy voice you get when you make a great point. I love the way you laugh, and the smile that stretched ear to ear when I can feel you inside my head. I love the way you call me sweet pea, and remind me that the phone has been charging for an hour. That means we get one and a half of talk time. I love how you spend your minutes wishing I was there, holding you, and letting myself spill over into your heart. When the emotion gets to much, and we have to just sit there taking it all in, and letting it all go, that's when I feel truly free. Like someone has just opened my cage door, and let me out. I can't explain myself sometimes, I can't make you understand that if you're game, then I promise to be there as long as you let me. I'm in it for the long run. I'm not a fly by night. I want to be the boy that grabs ahold of your heart and never lets go. I want to be the boy that makes your knees weak now, and later. You're so comfortable, it's scary. You're so easy to talk to. You're so close, that I could reach over and tousle your hair. Damn the distance, cause I know that if we want to be together bad enough then we will. I miss your voice. I miss the feeling of together that I have when I talk to you, and although the conversation sometimes turns into heated discussion, I never forget that I feel more complete when you're on the other end of that line. What have I gotten myself into?

Missing you...

So many people to love in my life, Why do I worry about one? I should have been here. I should have been here. I should have been here.

Wondering...

I hope you called the airline today. Things have been weird. I spent the night, last night with some friends. I'm about to go ice skating. I'm sorry my poem freaked you out. I hope being in your own little world doesn't equate with being distant. I'm happy, and achy at the same time. I think I'm getting another headache. Hmmm....cool song, and it's hard for me to think that there wasn't a little bit of influential aspects as a result of our conversations. If there was then that's ok. If there wasn't and I'm naive, then I can understand that. Call the airline. Let me know. I'll be here at the same bat-time on the same bat-channel. Withdrawlwithdrawlwithdrawl I need to dance.